Thursday, December 12, 2013

Miss you Dad!

Last year on this day my Dad passed away. It was the most shocking day of my life. I never thought I would lose my Dad 9 days after my Mom.

The time my Mom spent in the hospital was one of the most bitter sweet times for me now. I spent everyday at the hospital with her and he and I would switch off so she wouldn't have to be alone long and then I would usually spent the evenings at his house with him. We would talk about everything, we would watch Friends like the old times, we even spent a Saturday at Barnes and Noble with Adonis then went to lunch like he and I would do every other Saturday when I was younger. It was mine and his things we would always do. I look back at the time with sadness because I had to watch my Mom suffer, my Dad suffer with watching his wife die. It killed me to go through this but it was like God gave me that time with both of them to have my last moments with them really mean something. With my Mom it was like I was "repaying" her for every time she took care of me, I didn't feel that way at all at the time and just did what I did without a thought but when I look back on it I feel like I was able to somehow give her some of what she gave me.
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With my Dad I feel like I got to relive some of our best times at the hardest. When it was Thanksgiving we left the hospital and went to eat at Flanagan's like we did when I was younger and then went to his house and watched the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends while crying. We would stay up late talking for hours like we did when I was in college, those were seriously the best times. My Dad truly was my best friend. One of our last conversations he told me how proud he was of me for taking care of my Mom and for getting all of her best qualities, I appreciate that conversation so much. There was so many things we talked about that night that were just between us. Things I will hold so dear to me. He always could talk to me about things that upset him, fears, and it was something I always appreciated because we could always be honest with each other.
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My Dad was my best friend, the best friend I could have ever had. When I was going through my hardest times he was there for me like no one else. When I was going through my best times he was there, when I needed to talk he was there. When he needed to talk he knew I was always there. We had the best relationship and I pray I have even half the relationship he and I had I will be happy.
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He never took his family for granted. He was the best example of what a parent should be. I learned so much from him. I learned to always do your best to make moments special, memorable and fun. He taught me to always be the bigger person, it never hurts you to say sorry or just say lets move on and put this behind us. He always was my voice of reason and the person I could count on no matter what. He was the constant in my life.

I will forever appreciate his positive outlook on life. Don't take life too seriously. Have fun and be silly.
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The last photo of my Dad with Ace
Seeing my Dad as a grandpa was amazing too. He was so sweet and funny with Adonis. He said one of the bravest and proudest things I ever did was give him that name, Adonis, ha! It was his father's name and when we found out we were having a boy he cried. He was so happy.

Dad, I love you, thank for giving us an amazing life. You lived life to the fullest. You are incredible and will forever be the best example of what a person should be.




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2 comments:

  1. My dad passed away a year and a half ago. I understand completely. I miss him every day :/ your dad seemed awesome! Love the facial mask pic. Very cute.

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  2. I just found your blog via Pink & Professional's post that mentioned your Adoption Posts...I was so touched by how open & honest you were regarding your own adoption (it's something that I've also just known I wanted to do one day) that I clicked on your home tab to see some more of what you're about...well, now it's barely 9a & I'm already all teary eyed on my couch! A beautiful post, it really made me remember how important my daughters' relationship with my husband is & also how much it can mean to them. Sometimes as moms we can get a bit of a parenting ego about how important we are but your story really brought me down to Earth with how important Daddy is as well. Thank you for sharing your heart, you did it beautifully & I'm sure your parents are very proud. (:

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