Wednesday, September 17, 2014

10 Annoying Things my Kids do

Disclaimer: If you are a Mom than you know the struggle is real. Our kids will at some point do something to annoy us or just drive us nuts. I think it's natures way of proving we have patience. And if you can't read these with a hint of sarcasm move along. We don't need any serious people here. 
1. Pull your hair, scratch, bite and pinch you.  Ashlyn is the queen of this. It's not that she intentionally is trying to hurt me but when she pulls up on me she loves to pinch me or when she is trying to prevent herself from falling her nails find my skin and remove a little. She also uses my shoulder as a teething toy at times. And the hair pulling, I can't!
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2. Not smiling in pictures. Or not looking at the camera or moving from where I sat you. Seriously, I just want one picture where you are looking at the camera and smiling. Just one, if you have multiple children in the picture this is even more of a nightmare and you will get blurred faces of at least 2 of them. They will also find a way to push the other one over, make someone cry (probably me) or hurt each other. 
3.Not sleeping through the night. Ok, I know not all babies sleep through the night or it takes them a really, really long time to get to that point but when you go from sleeping through the night to waking up every couple of hours to, ya know, just hang out with me, it's not cool. Not cool at all, Everly!
4. Being cute when I want to sleep.  These are one of those moments where you are dead tired because of the prior and decides smiling and "talking" to you is way more fun at 5 a.m. I mean seriously, stop being so cute and GTFTS
5. Scream at me when I walk away from you. Look sometimes I have to go to the bathroom, change your sister's diaper or make you a bottle. Crying and whining when I move 2 feet from you is not going to change that. I promise I will be right back as you have seen the other 9873 times you did this.
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6. Cry.all.at.the.same.time. When you have 3 kids this happens at the most obnoxious times. Mommy is cooking dinner, lets all cry and see who can be the loudest. We are waiting to check out at the store, perfect time to show how we are all in sync and whine because we are over being here. Can Mommy join in? 
7. Learning a new skill and keeping yourself awake. This is oh so fun. You learned to sit up or crawl? 1 a.m. is the perfect time to practice. How about pulling up to a standing position? 4 a.m. is perfect timing for that. And make sure to scream when you can't figure out how to get down, Moms love that shit!
8. Not nap. Seriously, you are supposed to rock at napping. It's like part of your skill set from birth when you sleep all day and party all night. Now you want to switch things up? Well, not you Everly but Ashlyn you rock sleeping at night but naps you refuse? Come on girl, get it together! 
9. Spit food. I get it, blowing raspberries is the cool new thing and awesome until you spit food in my face. Ok, I see you don't think it's a problem by that smile on your face (which would really come in handy when I try to take a picture) but now I'm gross and you're still cute and this is why I look like I've been run over by the end of the day. 
10. Eat stuff you aren't supposed to.  This is what I imagine runs through your head…See that board book over there? It definitely needs a bite taken out of it. Oh, my brother got a new toy? Definitely finding a way to eat that. Mommy's phone tastes amazing! Her all time favorite? Wipes (new ones of course)! 
No, just no!
Ok, I am done, cue Mommy guilt. I'm pretty sure I am going to have to follow this up by 100 awesome things my kids do to redeem myself. 

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Want some more Mommy Talk? Check out 10 Things I want my children to know



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