Sunday, July 19, 2015

Stop Asking Women When They Will Get Pregnant!


It seems like the second women get married the first question they get asked is "When do you want to get pregnant?" or even "Are you all going to try for a baby now?"
These are such personal questions yet people act like it is their right to know when you will conceive a little child. 
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think people mean any harm in asking these questions. I think most people are just so excited that you will start a family and want to know how soon. 
But here is the real issue with this question, many women suffer from infertility. They also experience miscarriages as well. Both of these experiences are truly heartbreaking and difficult to deal with. The women who go through this can feel like failures since they aren't able to get pregnant or hold onto a pregnancy. It often times can be overwhelming and very emotional. 
I also struggled to get pregnant since I have PCOS  and suffered a miscarriage before getting pregnant with Ace I know the feeling all too well. 
You often don't want to burden people with the news you are unable to conceive, struggling or had a loss because that look people give is often uncomfortable. 
So what can we do to help women through this? Or what is appropriate to ask? 
First, if you know someone is struggling to get pregnant or had a loss don't tell them "It's all in God's plan." or "It wasn't meant to be." this isn't helpful. Also saying "Oh you will get pregnant!" when a person has been told they won't is again not helpful. Just listen. Be a shoulder for them to cry on. Bring your friend some wine or ice cream and a comedy for a girls night. 
If you do find yourself wanting to ask that age old question of when a new couple will have a baby or get pregnant maybe ask "Do you want children?" instead. If they say yes than be encouraging but don't pressure. 
And remember not all women become mothers through pregnancy and giving birth. There are many other options out there so be supportive! 

No comments:

Post a Comment