Monday, September 22, 2014

5 Ways to Encourage a New Mom

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Being a first time Mom is filled with so many emotions. It's joyous, incredible, tiring, terrifying and at times frustrating.  It can feel overwhelming in those first few weeks and months. When you don't have children yourself it can often be confusing on what you should do. Should you leave Mom to have alone time with her new baby? Should you put it out there that you are there for her but leave it on her terms? Here are some of the things I know I appreciated from people and what I have noticed others have appreciated from me as I was able to be there for my friends when they became Moms for the first time. 
1. Don't just ask if she needs help, be specific on what you will help her with. Most people will never ask for help because they don't want to inconvenience anyone. Instead of "Call me if you need anything." Say "I am bringing you guys dinner, what night is good for you?" or "You sleep and I will clean the kitchen, bathroom, floors, ect…" This is better than any baby present you could bring over. Trust me. 
2. Tell her she looks great for just having a baby. Having a baby changes your body and when you are sleep deprived and emotional with a squishy belly the last thing you might feel is stellar so hearing how good you are looking can be super nice to hear. And nothing is more beautiful than a new Mom holding her brand new baby.  
3. Give her a week or two than come by or bring her lunch. People are usually lining up to meet a newborn in the first week or two but after that people slowly stop coming by or checking up on you and it can feel lonely. Most  women are used to being around others while working or just being out in the world. When that newborn is here getting out of the house is can feel like you are packing for a weekend away. Offer to bring her lunch or some wine and a movie for a girls night in after a few weeks have passed. She may feel less tired, more bored and in need of real adult conversation.
4. Ask her how she's really feeling. When you have a new baby it can feel overwhelming and not what you expect. Yes, you love this little ball of cuteness but you are also changing from being free to do whatever you want, whenever you want to being dependent on a little person who tells you when they need to eat and when you need to change them. They are demanding and new Moms can feel guilty talking about how they really feel. We all know they love their baby but sometimes you just want to say how much it sucks that you aren't getting any sleep and your baby wants to be attached to your boobs 24/7. 
5. Be selfless. When you become a new Mom you all of a sudden have to become incredibly selfless and it takes a lot out of you. Your baby depends on you for everything and it can feel tiring always giving of yourself. Sometimes all a new Mom needs is someone to be that for them. Having a friend who is willing to give a little more of themselves at that time is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give. Trust me when you have a baby she will return the favor.
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Thursday, September 18, 2014

Flash Back Post: Embracing the Newborn Stage

For Throw Back Thursday I am reposting this post I did almost exactly 2 years ago about Embracing the Newborn Stage. I feel like we are finally out of the cloud of craziness since having Everly and looking back at being a first time Mom is really humbling. I dedicate this post to my sister who just had her first baby, Valentina! Love you girls! 

Originally posted: 9/20/12
Is it me or does time fly faster the older your baby gets?


I remember those first weeks of late night feedings, nursing marathons and pumping constantly(notice a theme?) and the time was seriously going at a snails pace. My son cried all.the.time and I felt like a 24 hour buffet. I saw pictures of friends babies all cuddly and content in the early weeks and thought my son was never going to stop crying, can we say jealous? It was rough to say the least. I was full of post pregnancy hormones and lacking sleep. I was a hot mess.

Apparently there's a party at my place at 3 a.m. that I am invited to. Awesome.

I thought I was just going to have a sensitive baby that cried just because and that was who he was. I loved my little guy no matter what but felt overwhelmed. I began to accept that this would be our life, crying together and not sleeping. I sometimes look back on those early weeks when it was just us snuggling and think I miss it all, then I look at this picture
and snap back into reality.

Then I see this picture and miss those sweet milk coma moments. You'd think with all the nursing we would have had more of those.


I will say he was cute even when he was screaming though. We tried for this baby for over a year so I was willing to sacrifice my beauty sleep for this angel and would do it all over again. I just can't say I would miss it anymore then I do now.
What were your baby's first few weeks of life like? Tell me I am not alone in this!

Need a little humor? Go read about all the annoying things my babies do HERE!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

10 Annoying Things my Kids do

Disclaimer: If you are a Mom than you know the struggle is real. Our kids will at some point do something to annoy us or just drive us nuts. I think it's natures way of proving we have patience. And if you can't read these with a hint of sarcasm move along. We don't need any serious people here. 
1. Pull your hair, scratch, bite and pinch you.  Ashlyn is the queen of this. It's not that she intentionally is trying to hurt me but when she pulls up on me she loves to pinch me or when she is trying to prevent herself from falling her nails find my skin and remove a little. She also uses my shoulder as a teething toy at times. And the hair pulling, I can't!
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2. Not smiling in pictures. Or not looking at the camera or moving from where I sat you. Seriously, I just want one picture where you are looking at the camera and smiling. Just one, if you have multiple children in the picture this is even more of a nightmare and you will get blurred faces of at least 2 of them. They will also find a way to push the other one over, make someone cry (probably me) or hurt each other. 
3.Not sleeping through the night. Ok, I know not all babies sleep through the night or it takes them a really, really long time to get to that point but when you go from sleeping through the night to waking up every couple of hours to, ya know, just hang out with me, it's not cool. Not cool at all, Everly!
4. Being cute when I want to sleep.  These are one of those moments where you are dead tired because of the prior and decides smiling and "talking" to you is way more fun at 5 a.m. I mean seriously, stop being so cute and GTFTS
5. Scream at me when I walk away from you. Look sometimes I have to go to the bathroom, change your sister's diaper or make you a bottle. Crying and whining when I move 2 feet from you is not going to change that. I promise I will be right back as you have seen the other 9873 times you did this.
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6. Cry.all.at.the.same.time. When you have 3 kids this happens at the most obnoxious times. Mommy is cooking dinner, lets all cry and see who can be the loudest. We are waiting to check out at the store, perfect time to show how we are all in sync and whine because we are over being here. Can Mommy join in? 
7. Learning a new skill and keeping yourself awake. This is oh so fun. You learned to sit up or crawl? 1 a.m. is the perfect time to practice. How about pulling up to a standing position? 4 a.m. is perfect timing for that. And make sure to scream when you can't figure out how to get down, Moms love that shit!
8. Not nap. Seriously, you are supposed to rock at napping. It's like part of your skill set from birth when you sleep all day and party all night. Now you want to switch things up? Well, not you Everly but Ashlyn you rock sleeping at night but naps you refuse? Come on girl, get it together! 
9. Spit food. I get it, blowing raspberries is the cool new thing and awesome until you spit food in my face. Ok, I see you don't think it's a problem by that smile on your face (which would really come in handy when I try to take a picture) but now I'm gross and you're still cute and this is why I look like I've been run over by the end of the day. 
10. Eat stuff you aren't supposed to.  This is what I imagine runs through your head…See that board book over there? It definitely needs a bite taken out of it. Oh, my brother got a new toy? Definitely finding a way to eat that. Mommy's phone tastes amazing! Her all time favorite? Wipes (new ones of course)! 
No, just no!
Ok, I am done, cue Mommy guilt. I'm pretty sure I am going to have to follow this up by 100 awesome things my kids do to redeem myself. 

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Want some more Mommy Talk? Check out 10 Things I want my children to know